Ep 9: Here’s Your First Sex Checklist | Prepare For Your First Time
Here’s your first sex checklist- straight from our in house sexual wellness experts!
On this episode of #AskTheSexpert, psychotherapist Kanusha converses with host Artika about first time sex-
What to expect? How YOU can be prepared? How to know if you’re ready?
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Guest bio
Ms. Kanusha YK is a clinical psychologist and sexual wellness psychotherapist. With over six years of experience, Ms. Kanusha excels in addressing a diverse range of mental and sexual health concerns, including anxiety disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders, sexual dysfunctions, and other related issues. Her expertise and compassionate approach make her a trusted professional for individuals seeking support and guidance. Ms. Kanusha's dedication to providing effective therapy enables her clients to overcome challenges and enhance their overall mental well-being. She is fluent in English, Telugu, Kannada, and Hindi.
"It should be something you want to do because you WANT to, not because you HAVE to, or (because) you
- Ms. Kanusha YK, Psychotherapist, Allo Health
Viewer’s QnA from the podcast
Q: I'm 25. I still haven't had sex for the first time. Is something wrong with me?
No, there's nothing wrong. And I think it's unfortunate that you'd have to, you know, the person concerned would have to have that thought. Yeah. But I understand I think it's, you know, you credit it to the social pressures and peer pressure of people saying, I think you know, a certain age and they come to know you've not had sexual intercourse- And movies making it look like it's normal to you know, start having first time experiences in school sometimes. Yes, I know. Yeah. So, you know, a lot of this, I think added pressure tends to, you know, get people to forcibly do something. But I think it's, you know, important to like, we go back to, you know, just a while ago, we're discussing how it's very important to feel ready physically and psychologically. So I think, you know, whether you're 18, you're 30 or 50, it's a very subjective thing. So like I said, please do it only when you want to and not because you have to or you think it's you know just something You sort of check off your list. Only when you're ready. Absolutely. And, and we already spoke about what it takes to feel ready. Yes. You rewind & watch that. Checklist. Yes. Yes.
Q: Does everyone bleed during their first time sex?
Not necessarily. So. I think, you know, the whole hymen thing breaking. Right? So the hymen is basically a small tissue, like a thin membrane like thing around the vaginal opening for females. And what happens is, you know, when that's broken, that can cause slight bleeding, you know, maybe a little bit, quite a bit the first day, maybe the second time. I mean, the first time and the second time. But, you know, if you- the person feels it's continuing multiple times or the bleeding is very heavy- I definitely advice to consult with a doctor. Yeah. But even if you don't bleed, it's still okay. And it
Q: I'm scared to have sex for the first time. What should I do?
Well, I would like to know what he or she is scared about specifically. But again, I think it's, you know, if you're scared, then even more reason for you to step back a bit and take time. You know, I'm sure it really helps if you're comfortable with your partner. So maybe if you know you're in a relationship, take your time, speak it out. Communications are everybody's talking about communication anyway, So talk about it. Talk about your fears. Talk about what you'd like to do. What do you want to start with? Everything should be mutually consented. Never do anything that's one sided or forced or something you're not comfortable with. Yeah. And the second thing is, wait until you feel ready. So if you're scared that there's probably a reason you're even feeling that way. Yeah, right. So it's important to try and identify that- either with someone or just yourself. Give it some time. Wait for when you actually feel ready. And only then you know, go ahead with any kind of physical intimacy, actually. And, you know, you
Read transcript
Sexpert + Topic Intro
Hello.
Hello. I'm Artika,
-you know that person who talks about sex on the Internet
and you're watching Allo Ask The Sexpert
Now, before I introduce you
to the expert of the day, I have to quickly tell you one story.
A friend of mine, his sister just turned 18.
And guess what
her parents got her for her birthday gift?
A box of condoms.
Really?
And I was a bit amused, and it just made me think
about parents talking to their children about sex.
It's not something that happens very often.
Now, I do know some parents who are now trying to open up about this
and educate their children.
But I also know a lot of parents who just don't know how to begin
that conversation or feel ashamed or hesitant.
So this is something that we're going to try and talk about today with our expert.
So let me welcome our expert of the day, Kanusha, who is a psychologist
and a sexual wellness expert with Allo Health.
Kanusha welcome to Allo Ask The Sexpert.
Hi! Thank you very much. Great.
So, Kanusha, I was just talking about talking to children.
How comfortable are we talking about sex
And by that, what I meant was that a lot of times when we talk about
people who menstruate, they are spoken to about that first period.
You know, at some age
you
