What Does Ace of Spades Mean Sexually?
Dr. Paavas Sharma holds a Bachelor's degree in Dental Surgery from Manipal Academy of Higher Education. In her journey, she has garnered numerous accolades for her creative writing. Proficient in both English and Hindi, she particularly enjoys delving into topics related to sexual and dental health and possesses experience in writing about oncology. Dr. Paavas has 3 years of professional writing experience and was also involved in editorial teams for magazines since her school and college days. Apart from writing she consistently seeks opportunities for personal expression and enjoyment, whether it's cooking, Netflix sessions or indulging in crafts.
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Updated on 10th March 2025
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The ace of spades is a famous symbol in pop culture and is often connected with mystery, luck, or death in their varying contexts. But within the LGBTQ+ community, particularly asexuals, the ace of spades has a more particular and contextual meaning. If you have come across the term “ace” as it relates to asexuality and are trying to figure out the connection to cards, you are at the right place. In this article, we will explain the meaning of the ace of spades symbol for you.
The Ace of Spades — A Symbol for Aromantic Asexuals
In some contexts of the LGBTQ+ community, the ace of spades symbolizes a person that identifies as both asexual (ace) and aromantic (aro).[1] The association with playing cards stems from the fact that “ace” is often used in place of “asexual,” because of the phonetic resemblance of both the words. For example, the four aces in a deck of cards have been reinterpreted within asexuals to depict various facets of asexual and aromantic identities.
♥ – Romantic asexuals (those who are attracted romantically, but not sexually)
♠ – Aromantic asexuals (those who do not have romantic or sexual attraction at all)
♦ – Demisexual and demiromantic asexuals (those who possess sexual or romantic attraction only after strong emotional bonding)
♣ – Gray Asexual and gray romantic asexuals (those who infrequently or only in certain situations experience the sexual or romantic attraction)
The ace of spades becomes an important symbol for people who identify as both aromantic and asexual. Devoid of any romantic feelings, it embodies the essence of asexuality.
Understanding Aromanticism and Asexuality
To dig deeper into why the ace of spades is used this particular way, lets define the terms in detail:
- Asexual (Ace): Those who identify as asexual have little to no sexual attraction towards other people. This doesn’t imply that they cannot be in relationships or love someone, but the way they are attracted to other people is far different from what is normal.
- Aromantic (Aro): People who identify as aromantic have little to no romantic attraction towards others. This means that they might not need a relationship with the traditional romantic partner, but it does not stop them from developing positive and deep connections.
Some people are asexual as well as aromantic (aro-ace), and this is where the ace of spades symbol becomes relevant. Others might be romantic asexuals (ace of hearts) or have a more flexible relation with attraction, characterized by the other ace symbols.
The Origin and Popularity of Ace Symbols
The use of playing card symbols in asexuality came within online ace communities looking for a way to visually represent different identities. It is believed that the spade was chosen for aromantic asexuals because it contrasted with the heart, which typically symbolizes romance and love. Over time, these symbols became widely recognized within LGBTQ+ spaces, helping asexual people communicate their identities more easily.
Symbols like the ace of spades provide a sense of belonging and validation for asexual individuals, especially in a world where their experiences are often misunderstood or overlooked. It’s a way to create visibility and open discussions about diverse sexual orientations.
Not to be confused with the Queen of Spades Symbol
Whereas the ace of spades symbolizes an asexual orientation, the Queen of Spades symbolizes something altogether different and frequently misunderstood. In some fetish communities, the Queen of Spades is a symbol used to represent white women who are interested in relationships with Black men. The symbolism of this has its roots in interracial dating circles and has been linked to the “BBC” (big black cock) fetish.
As a result of its problematic and, at times, racialized framing, the Queen of Spades symbol has no relation to asexuality or LGBTQ+ identity. Regrettably, conflating the ace of spades with Queen of Spades has created misinformation online. If you notice someone discussing one symbol during a conversation, it’s advisable to ask questions regarding the context before making an assumption.
To Sum It Up
The ace of spades is more than a card—it’s an important symbol to individuals who identify as both aromantic and asexual. As misinformation often breeds confusion, particularly with symbols such as the Queen of Spades, it’s essential to understand the ace of spades within its rightful LGBTQ+ context.
If you or someone you know is asexual or aromantic, adopting symbols such as the ace of spades can be a strong means of identity expression and community building. Visibility and talk about asexuality are important in ensuring that these identities are respected and comprehended.
So the next time you hear someone mention an ace of spades, you’ll understand that for a lot of people, it’s not a card—it’s who they are.
