Is Autosexuality Real?

Have you ever looked into your own reflection in the mirror and found yourself saying, ”I’m sexy”? What do you think—is it just self-love or could you be autosexual? This term has existed since 1989 [1], but there’s still limited information on it. Recently, many discussions have been popping up everywhere—from Kourtney to Reddit threads, many have been questioning the concept of autosexuality. Whatever brought you here, let’s have a chat from a sex expert’s POV on what autosexuality really means, clear up some common myths, and share stories that might resonate with your own. Just keep reading. 

What is Autosexuality?

Do you get turned on by yourself? That’s autosexuality—a sexual orientation when one is sexually, physically, and emotionally attracted to oneself. It’s not like narcissism (which is about ego); autosexuality is just genuine sexual or romantic fulfilment through self-connection. It can be through fantasies, masturbation, or admiration of your body. Think of it as falling in love with your own sensuality. [2]

Autosexuality is about personal attraction, but that doesn’t stop you from being attracted to other people too.

How is Autosexuality Different From Other Sexual Orientations?

Autosexuality stands apart from other orientations like asexuality or aromanticism. While asexual individuals get little to no sexual attraction for others, autosexuals can have attraction for others, but they mainly focus their attraction inward. Unlike bisexuality or homosexuality, in which a person has attractions to multiple genders or the same gender, autosexuality is uniquely centred on oneself. Some autosexuals do identify themselves as bisexual, pansexual, or heterosexual alongside their self-attraction. 

How Prevalent is Autosexuality Globally?

Research on this topic is still in its early stages. There are no large-scale, definitive global studies that have pinned down exact percentages. But still, there are some smaller surveys and certain online communities that suggest that autosexuality might be more common than most people realize. 

Recently, when Kourtney Kardashian openly talked about being an autosexual, some people started questioning their sexuality. [2] Many recent surveys showed a growing recognition, mostly among younger generations. As now our society started welcoming options, more people acknowledged and embraced their autosexuality.

Signs of One Being Autosexual?

If you want to know whether you’re autosexual or not, check out these common signs:

• Get Aroused by Your Own Reflection: You might get a rush of desire when you see yourself in the mirror or in any photos. [3]
• Self-Focused Sexual Fantasies: Instead of imagining a celebrity or a crush, if you picture yourself as you masturbate or release.
• Get More Pleasure in Masturbation: People like masturbating, but autosexuals, specifically, might find it more pleasurable than having sex with a partner.
• Prefer Your Own Company Sexually: You might feel more comfortable and satisfied with self-pleasure than being intimate with a partner. Some even talk to themselves in the act of sex as if they are with a partner.

While going through many online forums, I found stories like, “I realized after long that I’d rather fantasize about myself than about a partner,” or “I really get butterflies when I look at my own body.” These showed that autosexuality isn’t about narcissism—some people get a deep comfort and find themselves attracted to them more—physically and emotionally. [3]

Common Sexual Behaviors of an Autosexual

To know better about autosexuality, you might want to know what behaviours can accompany this orientation. These are based on clinical observations and personal anecdotes:

• Photographic or Mirror Masturbation: They take pictures or videos of themselves and might arouse simply while watching their own reflection.
• Erotic Self-Fantasies: Autosexuals have found themselves creating some sexual scenarios in their minds where they are both the admirer and the admired.
• Self-Admiration Rituals: They might dress up and style themselves purely for their personal thrill.
• Self-Care as Foreplay: Bathing, grooming, or applying scented lotions are not just hygienic routines for them. They take it as a sensual experience.

Note: These behaviours don’t define anyone as autosexual. Not every autosexual person engages in all of these activities, just as some heterosexuals might prefer these too as a part of self-care. 

Emotional Benefits and Challenges of Being Autosexual

If you’re self-attracted, you might have gone through some emotional highs. It might have helped you with self-confidence or self-love. Self-intimacy gives a very positive body image. You start to appreciate your body and personal qualities.

Still, it’s not all smooth sailing. There are some challenges that autosexual individuals report:

• Loneliness or Isolation: They are often misunderstood by their peers or potential partners, which can be emotionally taxing.
• Problems in Other Romantic Relationships: With more self-focused intimacy, negotiating your sexual needs and desires with a partner becomes hard and tricky.
• Stigma and Fear of Judgment: When you came out as autosexual, you might have seen some negative reactions from friends, family, or society at large that made you feel shameful or guilty.

Now many people find ways to balance their self-love with other interpersonal relationships. It shows that autosexuality isn’t inherently isolating or problematic.

Psychology Behind Autosexual Attraction

Am I just self-absorbed and self-centred? This is a very common question that comes to the mind of an autosexual. In reality, autosexuality isn’t about any vanity or a personality disorder. Even though narcissism centres on excessive self-importance and a need for external validation, autosexuality is just having genuine trill and emotional satisfaction when focusing on oneself.

Many psychological factors come into the scene here:

• Positive Self-Image: People who have overcome some kind of body shame might find themselves strongly attracted to themselves to empower.
• Early Sexual Experiences: Some who discovered self-pleasure early on in life may find it forms the core of their sexual orientation.
• Autonomy and Control: Self-intimacy gives complete autonomy over one’s pleasure, which is totally free from any external pressure or unpredictability.
• Neurological Factors: Some parts of brain chemistry and neural pathways that work on self-reward and pleasure might have a role here.

Knowing these might give deeper insights into why someone identifies themselves as autosexual and how it shapes their overall well-being.

How to Navigate Relationships as an Autosexual?

If you identify as autosexual, you might wonder how this impacts traditional relationships. Here are some pointers:

• Have Open Communication: If you choose to be in a relationship, being honest about your autosexuality early on can help avoid any misunderstandings.
• Set Boundaries: Make sure you and your partner discuss how often you’d like to engage in partnered sex versus self-intimacy.
• Mix and Match: Some autosexual individuals enjoy a blended relationship—spend some alone time focused on self-pleasure while also enjoying physical intimacy with a partner.
• Seek Therapy or Counselling. If you find it challenging to balance your self-attraction with a partner’s needs, talk to a sex therapist.

Real-world stories show that couples have successfully navigated this by scheduling their own “me time” for the autosexual partner while ensuring all emotional needs are met on both sides. [5]

Can You Be Both Autosexual and Another Orientation?

Yes. Like many aspects of human sexuality, autosexuality isn’t an isolated box. It can overlap with other orientations, which is known as a dual orientation. Take an example: you could be autosexual and bisexual, meaning you can get attracted to people of multiple genders but also find yourself deeply turned on by your own body. 

People who identify as both autosexual and hetero- or homosexual often say they have two layers of desire—an inward attraction toward themselves and an outward attraction toward others. This isn’t unusual or contradictory. It reflects the complex nature of human desire.

Societal Views and Stigmas on Autosexuality

There’s this view that masturbation is only something that you do when you’re not in a relationship. Society often grapples with understanding these non-traditional sexual orientations, and autosexuality is no exception. Because of this social weight, many haven’t even questioned this yet. Many even keep it a secret. Some of the common stigmas are:

• Our society often equates autosexuality with narcissism or views it just as a phase.
• As they’re less common in the media and public discourse. It’s a myth for some cultures. 
• These negative perceptions come from unfamiliarity. Many got to know about it after googling. 

These stigmas can break their self-esteem and lead them to isolation or shame. With the right awareness and education, acceptance for autosexuals would be much better.

Resources for Exploring Autosexuality

Who to turn to if I have some questions on autosexuality? Let me help you out here. There are numerous resources that can assist you:

• Online Communities: There are many online platforms like Reddit and specialised forums just to share experiences and get advice.
• Professional Counseling: You can have a session with a therapist specializing in sexual health who can offer personalized guidance.
• Educational Materials: There are even many articles like this one that give sex experts insights on autosexuality.

Note: If you still have any doubt, consider reaching out to a sex therapist who can explicitly explain about diverse sexual orientations. You deserve a space and support while exploring your identity.