Sanchita, a distinguished writer with a Bachelor's degree in Agriculture from Centurion University of Technology and Management, has carved a niche for herself in the realm of sexual health writing. Her proficiency in both English and Hindi adds depth and versatility to her work. Sanchita's journey in writing began early; she was an integral part of editorial teams in various school and college magazines. Her college years were enriched by her active involvement in the literature club, where she honed her skills further. Sanchita is also passionate about fiction writing and painting, showcasing her artistic versatility.
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Updated on 8th February 2025
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Pain during sex, or dyspareunia, is a sexual condition that many people struggle with. It can be a dull ache or a sharp pain but can cause frustration and embarrassment, and even affect your relationship. In this blog, we’re going to talk about what dyspareunia is, why it happens, and most importantly, what you can do to ease the pain.
If one experiences continued pain during most or all times they have sexual intercourse or during stimulation of the genitals- it is possibly a case of dyspareunia. It can affect folks of all ages and genders but is more common for women & folks with a vagina- in the form of vaginal pain. The pain can vary in intensity for different people- from being mild for some folks to excruciating pain for some- in any of the cases it should not be ignored. There are popular beliefs that sex is supposed to hurt- this is a myth- if sex is hurting you there will be an underlying cause for it- and those causes can be medically treated.
Allo Health experts have devised specialised methods to treat and manage this pain.
This is quite a distressing experience for both men and women. While it’s more commonly seen in women, men can experience it too. It’s important to note that pain during sex isn’t normal and it can happen for many reasons.
For Women:
For women, dyspareunia feels like a sharp, burning, or aching sensation in the genital area. The pain might be felt superficially- right at the opening of the vagina, or deeper inside during penetration. It can also feel like a throbbing or aching sensation after sex and goes on for hours or even days. Sometimes, it’s like a stabbing pain that can take you by surprise. For some women, it’s the emotional toll that comes with the physical pain like feeling embarrassed easily or worried about what their partner would think.
Here are some ways the pain might feel:
It’s important to remember that pain during sex is due to many reasons like vaginal dryness, infections, pelvic floor muscle issues, or conditions like endometriosis or fibroids.
For Men:
It is less commonly talked about in men. For men, dyspareunia might feel like a stinging, burning, or aching sensation in the penis, normally around the head or the shaft. Some men might feel a sharp pain when erect, while others might see some discomfort during or after ejaculation. It can also feel like a soreness that lasts longer than it should after sex, which in turn makes it hard to get an erection next time.
The pain might come on suddenly, from mild irritation to more intense stabbing sensations. In some cases, it might even affect a man’s ability to maintain an erection.
Some other conditions can cause painful sex in men like infections (such as urethritis), penile injury, prostatitis, or even tight foreskin (phimosis). On top of it, emotional stress or anxiety about sexual performance can make the pain worse.
Here’s how the pain might feel:
It is very important to understand the causes of the pain as that will help you and your doctor decide the best path forward for an effective treatment. The causes can be psychosocial, physical or physiological- and often a combination of the same. Here are some commonly known causes:
One of the reasons for pain during sex is simply not getting enough lubrication. It can be because you’re not aroused enough or due to some hormonal changes (like during pregnancy or menopause) or due to general prolonged fear and anxiety around sex. Dry sex causes irritation, friction, and discomfort.
Pain during sex might be a sign of an infection. Conditions like yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, or sexually transmitted infections (STIs) like chlamydia or gonorrhoea can cause some pain during penetration. These infections usually come with other symptoms, like abnormal discharge, itching, or a burning sensation while urinating.
Pelvic floor muscles support your bladder, uterus, and intestines. If for some reason your muscles are tense, weak, or overactive, they give pain during sex. Conditions like vaginismus, where the vaginal muscles involuntarily tighten during sex make penetration painful or impossible.
Endometriosis is a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows outside of it and, in return, causes pain during menstruation or sex. Sharp pelvic pain during intercourse can be felt.
If there’s been any trauma to the genitals ( from an accident, rough sex, or a medical procedure), it’s no surprise that sex might hurt.
Anxiety, stress, trauma, or even relationship issues can cause your muscles to tense up and make sex uncomfortable. This is mainly true for people who’ve been through sexual abuse or have anxiety.
Pain during sex can just be due to awkward positioning or the wrong technique. Some sex positions put a strain on the pelvic area or make it feel uncomfortable.
Conditions like uterine fibroids (non-cancerous growths in the uterus) or ovarian cysts can put some pressure on the pelvic area and cause pain during sex
Sometimes there’s not much physical pain, but emotional discomfort during sex. Low libido or a disconnect with your partner makes the pain more apparent during sex.
Pain during sex, or dyspareunia, is something that many people face, but it’s often under-discussed. If you’re experiencing pain during intimacy, you’re definitely not alone, and it’s important to understand what could be causing it and how doctors diagnose it. Here’s a quick, friendly guide on how doctors go about diagnosing pain during sex.
Discuss with your doctor
Don’t feel embarrassed to bring it up with your doctor- this is the first step to recovery. Remember your doctor is there to help, not judge. They’ll usually want to know when the pain started, how long it lasts, how intense it is, and what it feels like (is it a sharp pain, dull ache, or something else?). It’s also helpful to share any other symptoms you’re experiencing, like bleeding or discomfort after sex.
Allo Health experts use standardised protocols to understand your concerns and symptoms in a safe and comfortable environment to get an accurate diagnosis.
Physical Exam
Once your doctor has the details, they might recommend a physical exam. For women, they might ask for an internal pelvic exam to check for issues like infections, cysts, or anything that might be causing pain. For men, a physical exam/ genital area check for any abnormalities or signs of injury. Doctors might also ask about your general health and history of sexual activity, like any trauma or past infections.
Tests & Lab Work
They might order some tests.
For Psychological Reasons
Your doctor might suggest talking to a counsellor or therapist who specializes in sexual health or trauma.
Allo sexologists work closely with Allo Sex Therapists to provide a holistic diagnosis and treatment for psychosexual concerns like pain during sex, vaginismus, ED, PE among others.
Specialized Tests
If your doctor thinks you may have a specific condition like vulvodynia (chronic pain around the opening of the vagina) or pelvic floor dysfunction, they might refer you to a specialist. This could be a gynaecologist, urologist, or even a physical therapist who specializes in pelvic health.
Learn more about how Allo Health can help you manage the symptoms of Sexual dyspareunia.
If you’re dealing with this issue right now, don’t worry – there’s a lot that can help. Here are some of the common treatments and tips:
Allo Health experts specialise in treatment of dyspareunia in a holistic way. The experts first work with you to find the exact reasons and run thorough diagnostic tests to give you a personalised treatment suited to your exact needs.
Self-Care and At-Home Tips
